dreaming

Well Since my last post life has goten quite busy. Choas rules me. Marige is fallig to bits n pieces and I am trying to give a shit!

I love him, I do.... BUT ... why is there always a BUT... But, I have found new cluse to him, I don't like what I have learned. I wish I had learned he was cheating on me, that I cold get over!  THAT I could almost understand... I wish I could get my mind wrapped around this...

Anyways, I digress.... I am still plagued by the hotness of the men surrounding me ... I still can not touch them... but dayum I can dream... and dream I do! At least in my dreams I am treated well. Respected and most importantly (of course) Obeyed! LOL!

Seriously tho. If I do indeed decided to make a break for it, I do believe I will be ok! I am almost at piece with this decision.... almost LOL! how does one become completely ok with admitting defeat??That is something I must work on..

While I work I will continue to dream LOL! Hope these men never stop flirting with me, I do so enjoy the flattery LOL! Flattery will get you everywhere they say.

boooooooooooreddddddddddddddddddd

I sit here. Sick and lonely.
Tried to call hubs n tell him what the doc said,all he could do was rush off the phone... grrrrrrr
i quit... i just need to find ppl to chat with, i am SO freaking lonley and in need of someone to share my life with!! naw im not leaving, i just need a friend local i guess LOL!!

Temptations

Why is it I have been so dang tempted lately!!!

I tell myself 

NOOOOOOOO 

In this loud screaming voice in my head...

then the little whiny voice says 

"but I wannnnaaaaa" 

*sigh*

Where is MY kitchen pass yo! 

This ONE is so tempting the hell outta me. 

Great personality. Funny. Tall. Dark Hair

.... The really odd thing, 

hes not like drop dead HAWT, 

just something about him makes me wanna 

throw him to the floor and teach him a lesson 

RAWWWWRRRRRRR

I see him walking the halls...

all those dark corners there to dip into.. 

the subtle looks... 

try to play off acting all buddy buddy... 

he hasnt the foggiest clue as to what is playing in my lascivious thoughts

Deary me, he would blush... 

BUT WAIT

its not just the ONE

oh no... 

there are many that turn my head! 

I feel like a freaking whore trapped in a saits body

crying and tearing to break free

i doubt ill slip

i know i wont

but the mental torture is pure hell

all those bodies to worship, so far out of reach.

Seroiusly tho... how do I turn it off??? 

there is NWIH I can cross that line 

Why you ask? Well, many reasons

-work with him

-no time for dating

-no energy to keep the workplace secrets

- oh ya, and well the marriage thing!!!! (HA) 

ya.... Im screwed huh....or, well, NOT screwed as the case is ......

LOL

I know, Ima Dork!

Roller Coaster of Life

Where there are ups there must be downs I spose... I'd trade all my ups this month for a friend.
Its been a great month for me. I got published. Reconized at work. A's in college. I was sick, but I got better fast. Things have been pretty good with the hubs. Quilt got finished. Quilt got started. All sortsa great things ....

Then there is the friend. Now he and I have never met. We had an online class together. Hes a good guy and has a good girl friend. They were blessed 26 weeks ago with a pregnancy and for so long everything went fine. Then last week she went into labor. The tiny boy struggled for a week and then today tragedy struck and he was lost to them. I have no words of comfort to offer them. I am not local to offer a shoulder. I can not bring them casseroles or food. I can't do any housework for her. Flowers will wilt and remind them of death. What the hell do you do? I would gladly trade my accomplishments that I have had this month to help them heal... wish it worked that way huh.

Come out Come out

where ever you are!!!

I am BORED!! Whats a bored housewife to do??
*le Sigh*
I need someone to talk to
or somewhere to go!!!

I am to old to club...its just not fun anymore when the cute guys are over a decade younger than you...
I have a feeling I may end up a cougar one day LMAO

I dont wanna sit home!! BOOOORING
I want to go hiking...but its dark and COLD and the state parks are closed!

the world is against me LOL!!!!
ok not the world, but ts fun to pout n say that hehehehe


maybe I'll write a book.....naw, no one wants to listen to me bitch n moan in fiction LOL!

So i guess I will sit here and day dream of hot sandy beaches with clear clear water, and sexy half naked men serving me tantalizing beverages whilst I sway in a hammock under the palm trees....

or I could just do my homework LMAO!!!!